A Tribute

A Tribute to Mia

A year ago today, I got some great news. Ryan and I were so happy, so excited.
A year ago today, I was preparing myself to grow, to learn, and to love.
A year ago today, was one of the happiest days of my life.

As I look back to that time and ponder, I have a hard time holding back,
A hard time holding back the tears that threaten to show my emotion.
As I look back to that time, I wonder why it had to be this way.
This way is not what I expected, not what I was prepared for in any way.

I know things happen for a reason, I believe that, or at least I try.
I know we weren't ready, it was for the best, we'll have the chance again.
I'm trying to hold onto those reasons, trying to pretend I believe them.
I'm trying to hold back my resentment, my pain, my sorrow.

It feels like every small reminder brings back a wave of grief.
It feels like I'm supposed to be okay by now, why can't I be?
It feels like I should have already let go and accepted reality.

I'm doing a lot better, but sometimes it is still so hard.
I'm trying a lot harder, but sometimes I just can't keep up.
I'm feeling a lot stronger, but sometimes I let the emotions break through.
I'm understanding a lot better, but sometimes I just wish things were different.

Is it crazy and unreasonable I'm still grieving her death?
Though I never got to meet her, she never saw this world?
Is it dumb that I hurt from the loss that we had?
Does it sound just insane that I'm feeling all this?

I'm just lucky that I have his love on my side
I'm lucky that my husband adores me
I'm lucky that he understands all my pain
I'm lucky he's the antidote to the sorrow

He makes it easier for me to understand why.
He makes me stronger with each loving kiss.
He helps me see reason and to start to believe,
That she will come back to us, when the time is right.